Child-parent conflict could lead to adverse outcomes in young adulthood. Research
also indicates that the quality of childhood relationships with parents can significantly impact an individual’s sense of meaning and purpose as an adult. Some studies even propose that early conflicts
with mothers are linked to lower levels of purpose more than a decade later in that person’s life. The studies concluded that conflicts between children and mothers were correlated with a decreased sense
of life purpose as the children entered adulthood.
JJ (CHERISOOD) MARTIN grew up in Hanover Park and did not have a good relationship with his mother. Today, he works as a receiving clerk for raw materials at the aQuellé water bottling plant at Kranskop in KwaZulu-Natal. He enjoys his work, but life has not always been plain sailing.
He said, “Drugs for me at age 19 was a rolling pattern, in and out of rehabilitation, at significant costs to my family. These centres manipulate our parents because it is all about money for them. The doctors gave me methadone, and I got hooked on the prescribed medicine. The methadone kept me going until my next fix. Eventually, I ended up on the streets. A pastor wanted to help me a few times, but I was not willing to be helped. In the meantime, I was in Grade 12 twice but failed and never finished it. Only my grandfather supported me then; the rest of the family rejected me, and I do not blame them now.
“A pastor bought me a ticket to go to KwaSizabantu in Kranskop. At first, I did not want to stay there because of the cultural differences. There were too many isiZulu-speaking men at the CYPSA restoration building at the time, and I did not want to be with them. However, in December 2019, I committed myself to the program. After I finished it successfully, I asked to start working in the gardens.
“This place gave me life. It showed me love and acceptance when even my own family rejected me. My father even allowed me to pray at lunchtime when I visited him after I changed my life. KwaSizabantu gave me back my dignity and even allowed me to study. They played a huge role in my life; they sat with me day and night. They gave me the best food and a decent job at the water bottling plant. I am a changed man and have my dignity back. I also restored my relationship with my mother”.
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Image credits: All pictures provided by KwaSizabantu
